I’m glad the crisis is finally over. The bug hit us hard - every one of us. Jianna was down for two weeks, with a complication of an ear infection. I could barely move around the house for a week. And JM, because he so faithfully takes his meds, managed to escape it before it got worse.
I’m talking about the cold virus, by the way.
I don’t know if any of you remember the energetic chinese guy on TV back in the 80s, in a show named Wok With Yan. I clearly remember him. His face may have faded in my memory, but his voice still rings in my ears. My mom used to watch his shows as regularly as she could and she would try to copy his recipes in a notebook - I can’t remember though if she ever cooked them, I think she did. And my mom always says that she learned to chop from Wok With Yan - tucking your fingers in and hiding your thumb behind those fingers. I, too, chop that way now because it’s the only way I’ve ever known, coming from my mom. And Curtis Stone of the Take Home Chef teaches it in his show too.
Last week, we visited a second hand bookshop that I’d been long intending to visit. So there I was scanning the fiction area like I always do. And then later heading to the non-fiction area, trying to find interior design books, to no avail. While I was scanning though, something caught my eye. The book spine read “A Wok For All Seasons”. Since JM has been talking about buying a wok and he’s been crazily watching Kylie Kwong, I figured the book would suit him. When I pulled it out, guess who’s face stared back at me — Wok With Yan! I almost jumped for joy. I thought about giving the book to my mom instead. But then I selfishly decided I wanted to keep it for myself. My mom doesn’t really need it anymore as she’s got all sorts of tricks up her sleeves by now. When I went to show it to JM, my face was really beaming and when JM saw it, he hardly hesitated about telling me to buy the book. This is such a treasure, was all I could think.
Oh and his actual name is Martin Yan. I only learned that now when I saw the book.
Now I Really Feel Like I’m Her Mom
I will admit, Jianna hasn’t called me “mom” since she started babbling. Well, she’s said “mamama” to me before, but I think she was referring to milk then cause she only said it when she wanted to feed. And then she used it again recently to refer to water. I’ve been telling JM to call me “Mommy” more often and to ask Jianna to call me so she can get used to it, but to no avail, it seemed. Then just tonight, as I was cleaning up after she had dinner, she came to me by the sink and said “momomom”. It wasn’t her usual “mamamam” but I still offered her her sippy cup. But then she shook her head and said again “momomom” and ran off. I later realized — she just called me mom! Yahoo!
Such A Little Doll
The one nice thing about having a little girl as opposed to a little boy is that you could dress her up, play with her like a doll. When I’m bored, I’d play dress up with Jianna. Last week, I dressed her up in my top, added on a pair of shades and she loved it! After that, I wrapped her up in one of my shawls, draping it in a way that it would look like a dress. Then she posed for the camera. This afternoon, we played make-up. She’s been fascinated with my make-up for weeks now, trying to grab them when I’m using them. So I finally gave her a brush and one of my blusher bottles. She started brushing over her eyes, on her cheeks, then her lips. When I came over and told her to close her eyes so I could brush, she did so too! Then we both looked at the mirror and she had a wide grin on her face. She’s such a doll!
She’s My Funny Girl
I love it so much when Jianna and I have our laughing jags. We just laugh for no reason. Sometimes she’d look at me in a teasing way, then I’d start to snicker and she’d start laughing and I’d laugh too. Last night while we were feeding, she kept on making those snickering noises and if I so much as raise my brow, she starts giggling. We kept at it for quite a while, I was almost scared she wouldn’t be able to settle to sleep. When I ask her “Who’s My’s Funny Girl?”, she’d raise her arm and shout out her version of “Jianna! Yehey!”
And Then There Is Silence
There are moments when we just sit on the couch and watch TV. We just sit there quietly. She would lean on me and fiddle with her feet. Sometimes she’d look up and I’d smile at her and then we’d go back to watching TV again. When she learned to kiss, she would sometimes just suddenly try to reach for my cheek to give me a kiss. Oh how I love her!
It’s been a long frustration for JM and me that Jianna never kisses us. She throws flying kisses everytime JM says goodbye in the morning. She gives her bears kisses on the nose. She even kisses the mouse in her book. But she never kisses us, no matter how we beg. Sometimes we have to stick our cheeks to her lips just so she could give us a smack.
Yesterday, however, she climbed onto my lap as I was watching TV and gave me two successive smacks. And then this morning, as she woke up, she leaned towards my face and gave me another smack. Oh, the delight I felt after she had done these! Heaven…
This morning she also kissed JM as he said goodbye. Finally, our long awaited moment has come! Next on the list…Jianna telling us “I Love You!”
Recipe c/o the Domestic Goddess herself, Nigella Lawson.
Homemade Strawberry Jam
Yoghurt
Crushed Oatmeal Cookies
They say nesting is a regular occurence for pregnant women. It’s when the woman begins preparing for the arrival of the baby. She suddenly experiences a surge in the desire to clean up her home, not only fixing the nursery but everything else as well.
My question though is, does nesting end after the arrival of a baby? I read recently that it’s possible to still experience nesting within weeks after the baby has arrived. But is it still possible to be nesting after a year?
Maybe it’s because I watch too many Discovery Home & Health shows. Maybe it’s because JM got me the Martha Stewart Homekeeping Handbook, which I asked him to. But whatever it is, yes, I’m still nesting. I always still have frequent obesessive compulsions to put everything in order. I need to see my kitchen spic and span and smelling of disinfecting vinegar (I use a vinegar-water mixture to disinfect everything as advised by Martha [Stewart], Kate [Gosselin, of Jon and Kate plus 8] and Anthea [Turner, of The Perfect Housewife] as it’s safe, organic and cheaper, too). I need my bathroom, especially the bathtub, to be sparkling clean. And I need my floors to feel constantly smooth and polished beneath my bare feet. Sometimes I may feel out of sorts and get too tired and lazy to do everything. But on most days, I just have to clean up. And these are the days when JM tells Jianna to stay away because “Mommy is nesting.”
Two languages at that!
First English Word: bye (with a wave of her hand and preceded by a flying kiss)
First Thai Word: ja-e - I’m not sure what exactly this means, something like peekabo maybe. But it’s what all Thai people say to a baby when they see one.
My once body-hugging tee is now a regular loose shirt! This is why I always say, "breastfeeding is not just best for babies, it’s best for mommies, too!" You get more excuse to go shopping for new clothes…Yey!
Yesterday, I ordered Burger King for lunch which comprised of a chicken burger, Coke and hash browns. As I sat at the table, Jianna immediately came to me and I knew she was going to ask for some of my food so I offered her a piece of hash brown. Then I stood up to get some ketchup. I had my back to the table, and the next time I looked, the box of hash browns was no longer on the table and a couple of pieces were on the floor. I got really mad! My voice was immediately raised. "Jianna! Why couldn’t you wait for Mommy???"
When I went back to the table, I saw that the box was on the chair and only a few pieces had fallen to the floor. When I looked at Jianna, my, was she looking scared. Her eyes were round with fear and she was starting to back away from me. But her mouth! Oh her mouth was overflowing with hash browns! I couldn’t help but be endeared to her. So instead of scolding her, I hugged her and kissed her and smiled and gently told her not to do it again.
the world reeks of goodbyes.
my heart bleeds.
then numbs.
These past months, one song has been relentlessly playing on my mind, Constant Change by Jose Mari Chan. And moreso now after we just had a farewell party for friends who are moving to Switzerland. You may say Constant Change has become a kind of theme song for me in recent years. Within the past five years, a lot of people dear to me have moved to different parts of the world. First and foremost, my sister who’s also my best friend moved to the UK in 2003. And in the past year alone, a couple of our friends here in Bangkok have likewise relocated - back home to the Philippines or elsewhere. Now, even we are planning our own move back to the Philippines next year.
Moving always involves saying good-byes. And good-byes entail heartbreaks. The friends we’ve made here, they’ve become like family to us. Being away from home, we’ve each become a support system to each other in some ways, so that when someone leaves, a part of the system breaks down. And a part of our hearts break. But such is life, and especially for those who work abroad on a contract basis. Moving is a way of life and good-byes are inevitable.
Apart from the heartache of farewells though, we are happy for those who leave us because we know that their leaving signifies a better life for them. Their moving to another corner of the globe will enrich their lives, not only professionally but personally as well. In change, there are new places, things and ways of live to discover and to learn. And there are new friends to make. That is why, despite the sorrow in parting, we say good-bye with a smile still. And tons of well-wishes. And thankfulness for the highly technological world that enables us to keep in touch as often as we wish.
